Sportsmanship in an "All About Me" World

I do a lot of work for free in this “all about me” world, including close to 200 hours per year to youth field hockey.  I continue to be shocked and amazed *but not awed* by adults who seem to feel that they are somehow….different, special, better…

The Setting: A  community-use sports complex in Northern Virginia, with two artificial turf fields surrounded by several grass fields. Sunday evening. 6PM.  Field is marked for field hockey with cones. Football goalposts hold the testosterone at the ends of the field.  Field use permits are in place for our program.

Activity: Controlled chaos. Four local youth programs with teams for 3^rd-6^th graders, primarily girls. Approximately 132 girls on one sports turf field, divided crosswise into four playing fields. Game play is signaled by horns; whistles are used on the field.  18 minute games start every 20 minutes.

The Scene: On any given night there are conflicts between parents who know better than the coaches, folks who bring their dogs despite the fact they are not allowed on the fields (hey, there’s a dog park 100 yards away at the other end of the park), and commonly adult male groups who try to get on the fields before their allotted time.

On this night, just prior to the initial game, in the midst of set up, a small group of men is asked to vacate the field, where they have been playing football. There’s something about the exchange that reminds me of the insolence of high school boys.

Game play ensues.

In the two minute break between Games 3 and 4, the football cluster is back on Field 4. Our field hockey teams are in position and the horn is blown to start Game 4.

The football group continues to kick field goals. Game play is held up due to their presence on the field.

As the commissioner, I walk across the damn field. All 5’1” of me in full, threatening body language, wearing my official sweatshirt.

Me: “You need to get off the field.”

Robust, bald headed guy, Caucasian male, no language issues: “We’re just getting in another kick.”

Me: “Get off the field…do you have a daughter in this program?”

Guy: “My girlfriend’s kid is here….who do you think you are?”

(Thinking: my name is on my official sweatshirt…)

I point to a soccer game on a nearby field: “If you wouldn’t be on that field right now, you shouldn’t be on this field!”

“Lady, you need to get a life!”

“I have a pretty full life. Get OFF the field!”

“Lady, there’s people dying of cancer….”

“If you’ve got cancer, I’m sorry for you, but get OFF THE FIELD!”

So he trounced back to the bleachers and sat in the middle of a cluster of women where he could be heard complaining about me.

But we’re not done. 

Game 5. Two males from the pregame football group, associates of the problem guy, are on Field 2 – DURING game play. They look like a dad and son, throwing and catching a ball, on the field, mid-play during a field hockey game! Again, wearing my official sweatshirt, imposing physical presence, and Commissioner-Mom body language, I walked onto the field and signaled them off.

How can there be 130+ kids on ONE field for a program, with adults/parents who think that they can also be on the field with their other children? I don’t think they’d do it at soccer games, but it’s OK at field hockey? Instead of teaching the kids courtesy and sportsmanship, is this how you teach kids to “get theirs” no matter the impact?

I’m pretty sure these football problem parents belong to the other clubs. If they belong to this one, they may have a permanent position  -- on the waiting list.

Knitted Along the Way, AKA Field Hockey Knits

I don't dare count how many miles we put on the MDX with trips to Boston, Delaware (Vs. UNC), Colgate (Hamilton), Bucknell (Lewisburg), Lafayette (Easton x 7), American U (DC), and Ohio University (Athens).

Another way to measure the time was with the pairs of mittens knit along the way.

Confetti Fingerless Mittens, inspired by Fetching

These are knit flat and then seamed. There are three cable twists (CT) near the wrist and three more near the fingers.

The yarn combinations are a basic (Patons Merino Wool or Brown Sheep Nature Spun Worsted) and a fingering/sock (Koigu KPPPM or Claudia Handpainted Fingering Yarn).

Gauge: 4 to 4.25 sts per inch.

Needles: size 6 or 7, 16-in circular (handy to knit flat) and double points.

Notions: stitch markers, stitch holders, blunt needle

Cable Cast On 33 with cable cast on (counts as row 1)

Row 2 ( Wrong side row):

P6 K1 P4 K1 P4 K1 P4 K1 P4 K1 P6

This establishes the ribbing pattern.

Rows 3&4 in pattern
Row 5 begin cable twist

Cable twist (CT): knit into second stitch on left needle, then without removing, knit into first stitch on left needle. Slide to right needle.

Knit 3 CT in stitches 4 and 5, P1, then in each group of four knits:
k1 CT K1

Then in last group of six: K1 CT K3

Continue next three rows in non-cable pattern.

On the next right side row follow CT pattern again.

Continue in this established pattern until three Cable Twist rows are completed.

Follow in pattern with wrong side row.

On right side place markers before and after the center 5 stitches.

Continue in pattern to the first marker, move marker to right needle, Make 1 stitch. Continue in pattern. Before the next marker Make 1, move marker, continue.

Continue to make increases on right side rows until there are 15 stitches between the markers.

On next right side row, place center 9 sts on a holder.

In pattern knit to stitch holder. Increase one stitch, knit across gap knit 1 increase 1, and continue across.

Follow in pattern with wrong side row.

Establish CT pattern again and continue until 3 Cable Twist rows are complete finishing with wrong side row.

On RS row, bind off.

Thumb:

Move thumb stitches from holder onto double pointed needles. Join yarn on open side, pick up two sts. Continue across thumb, pick up two sts and work in the round for 4-5 rows until length desired. Bind off.

Finishing: Neatly fasten off thumb yarn, Seam the mitten. Repeat with second mitten!


(c) Luanne O'Loughlin, 2011

You can request the PDF here.

A Championship Season

A year has passed since the last posting, but what a year it has been. The talented girls, last seen in blazing hot pink, returned this fall to capture the Patriot League title. Photos from Boston, Colgate (Hamilton), snowy Easton, and the Championship at American University in Washington DC.

Lafayette College Field Hockey Team Dinner

Tonight we hosted the team dinner, prior to the Patriot League tournament, which begins tomorrow in DC. What a great group of girls!

They had fun with the Wii and Rock Band!

Adding the menu for future reference (serves 23):

The temp was in the high 40 and it was a drizzly day.

On the porch/space heater on:

Poland Springs "Fizzy" water in Raspberry Lime, Lemon, and Orange

Gatorade

Lower Kitchen:

Coffee Urn with Water for Tea

Selection of Tea Bags

This was a hit!

Dinner:

Cooked 5 lbs Penne, served with "Red Sauce", Marinara

The sauce contained meatballs made from 6lbs of ground beef and also 2lbs of sausage

(3 lbs of Penne would have been enough -- sauce leftovers freeze).

Cooked 2 lbs Linguine, egg and spinach, served with Pesto

Baked one very large Stouffer's Lasagna + 1 Stouffers Mac & Cheese

Bread: Pepperidge Farm Garlic Bread (5 loaves -- more would have been OK!)

Salad: used most of 2 big tubs of organic field greens, dressed with garlic, "Le Trebbiane" extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and freshly ground pepper, sea salt

Dessert: 3 homemade apple pies, 2 tubs vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, peanuts and Hershey's chocolate

We used real plates and real silverware!

The Mother-Daughter Trip to Rome

Carly may not realize it, but we planned for this trip for almost 18 years. It was her graduation gift, amd (cough-cough) my 50th birthday present.

We rented an apartment adjacent to both Piazza Farnese and Campo dei Fiori. The location was perfect, as long as we didn’t mind the graffiti laden little street and 55 steps to the door. Having previously rented an apartment in Florence we were quite comfortable with the process of renting an apartment in Rome. It’s hard to leave some American habits behind! The apartment allowed us to enjoy the daily market at Campo dei Fiori and to make small purchases at the nearby grocery stores—and to nibble whenever...

Rome is very walkable, especially with the right shoes! (Thank you to Merrill and Nordstrom for great sandals). We arrived on a Tuesday, which remarkably was a Holy Day honoring Saints Peter and Paul. It was quieter than a Sunday and it felt like it was a special day just for us. In an effort to keep moving (and to fend off jet lag) we walked to many of the “importante” sites. After buying our first bag of groceries, we set off on foot, and walked all over the city.

Our memorable meals include dinner at Pierluigi (most interesting case of Ugly American: the woman from New Jersey who walked out without paying) and Armando al Pantheon. Alas, I cannot find the name of the lovely café in Trastevere where we enjoyed fresh, crispy salads at midday.

Each day the city became more crowded and the heat more intense. We were often too hot to eat. In the end no day was complete without gelato.

One great evening was spent with Gioia, Giuseppe, and Domina, of the family that brings us (at Olio2go) Principe di Mascio DOP Colli Assisi-Spoleto Extra Virgin Olive Oil. We were treated to an out-of-this-world meal on the terrace of their home in the hills of Monte Mario. They have a marvelous cook who prepared platter after platter of their family’s favorites. My only wish was to know what was coming next in order to adjust my appetite. The highlights were abundant -- fettuccine with mushrooms and peas, roasted tomatoes stuffed with seasoned rice, a rolled meat, a platter with mozzarella, arugula, and bresaola (dried beef). Another platter held marinated beets, delectable mushrooms. As the dinner drew to a close, dessert was arrived with a spectacular fennel salad. This recipe for Fennel and Celery Salad from the New York Times’ Mark Bittman is a close approximation. Other selections included brought forth with a pineapple tart and a platter of photo-perfect fresh fruit, including golden-orange apricots and deep, dark cherries. They explained that the fruit is often brought to the table with a side bowl for washing the selections. Later, we took a grand tour by car of their favorite views of Rome. We can’t thank them enough for the wonderful evening.

Monte Mario is the highest hill of Rome and the community reminds one of Fiesole near Florence or La Jolla near San Diego. The homes are beautiful and the grounds are abundantly planted with trees and flowers. Domina has recently studied in the United States and we enjoyed being able to discuss her observations of life in the U.S. We hope that she comes back to the States for college!

To learn the most at the most historic site, we booked two tours. The first was a Vatican Museums tour with Presto Tours. Our guide, Ryan, was very enthusiastic and brought true excitement to the art. We would refrain from recommending Vastours – our tour at the Colosseum. Our guide was hot and tired and her comments were banal. "The aqueducts run from the east..." Uh, cuz that's where the mountains are? At one point, after she left us behind at the gate, she begrudgingly “recovered” us. Begrudgingly, as if we were the ones who couldn't count the group tickets! Our fellow tourists seemed to share our disappointment with the guide. The approach of a dramatic thunderstorm and a Gay Pride parade changed the tedious tenor of the tour and gave us all something more to chat about.

On this trip, we visited a USO for the first time ever. I don't even know if Tom has ever visited one. There's one within a couple of blocks of the Vatican, and it was a nice place to stop by, get tour information, use the computers, and grab a Coke. Thanks, Jen, for the USO recommendation.

On Friday, we took the train to Orvieto, a beautiful hill town in Umbria, just a one hour and 20 minutes by train from Rome’s Termini station. We had hoped to ride the famed funicular up the steep slopes to the historic town, but it was not running. From the same station we took the local bus, traversing the steep hillside, to the Piazza del Duomo in the heart of Orvieto. The church is heavily ornate on the outside and somewhat simpler on the inside. The horizontal striped marbke is reminiscent of the Duomo in Siena. Be sure to give a close look--to the right of the altar, there is a small chapel with brilliantly colorful frescos by Luca Signorelli. The best pictures of the chapel can be seen here. I'm currently reading a book set in Orvieto -- The Lady in the Palazzo.

About an hour into the return train ride from Orvieto to Rome, there was an announcement – spoken only in Italian. This was unusual as each of the prior announcements had been in Italian followed by English. Our kind compartment mates let us know that the train was no longer stopping at Termini on the way to Naples. Those riders destined for Termini were to exit at Tiburtina. What made this especially entertaining is that our compartment-mates didn't speak English. One gentleman quickly snatched my ticket and confirmed our destination. We were advised to exit “pronto”. A few minutes later, while waiting at Tiburtina, several other travelers asked our advice. With no bags other than purses we must have looked authentically Italian!

Our week in Rome crossed from the end of June to the beginning of July. As our week there progressed, the city became increasingly crowded with tourists while the stone buildings seemed to hold the more intense heat. We especially loved the apartment and neighborhood, and the magic of the nights in Rome.

Our memories (in no particular order): seeing the Pope when we didn't plan to, and not seeing him when we planned to, the wailing beggar approaching us on a bridge who stopped when I gave her a dirty look, a nearby gentleman's look of surprise and laughter, when I quickly waved away someone who was reaching toward me (another beggar?), the sounds of the crowds watching the World Cup games, my love for Italian windows with heavy shutters, standing on the balcony, listening to the sounds in the courtyard, watching the restoration out the window, hearing the fountains from Piazza Farnese in our room, watching a party at the Embassy, finding out that American coffee in the apartment is instant Nescafe, discovering the Il Fornaio bakery on the last day, visiting the yarn shop near Campo dei Fiori, buying footcare products daily, getting lost and finding our way again, Carly's exasperation with my sense of humor, visiting fountains at night, finding out the Colosseum really is around the next corner, riding in the car with Gioia, Guissepe, and Domina, that incredible dinner, my Carpaccio in Orvieto (really was a bit thick...), visiting the Hard Rock Cafe (a long walk to buy t-shirts),

Oh dear, time warp!

It has been a stunningly long time since my last post. We've crossed several thresholds of time -- the lacrosse season, a party with our field hockey friends, prom, high school graduation, 6th grade promotion, Katie's 12th birthday, a trip to Rome (more on that later), and summer camps!

Books: Just finished Sarah Dunant's Sacred Hearts, set in a convent in Ferrera, Italy, in the Middle Ages. Loved it.

Tag Lines: Because everyone deserves...

I've been thinking about this topic for awhile now. And, maybe bringing it up isn't good karma. And, certainly cancer has touched close to home. But I really detest the Susan G. Komen, Walk for the Cure, radio commercial tagline: "...Because everyone deserves a lifetime".

Let's be clear.

"Lifetime" is what you actually get.

It is the duration. The race. The defined time.

Yes, yes, yes, I know that they really mean a longer lifetime. And so this same tagline is also true for car accident victims. You can even fill-in-the-blank-here with every other cancer or non-cancer death prior to actuarial life expectancy as well.

I don't care for how the fundraising process makes breast cancer different from other cancers. Somehow more worthy. Ouch. Yes, pick your priorities and make your donations. And, hopefully the research is effective.

(Perhaps in another blog post, we can discuss just the concept of "because everyone deserves" as a rallying point for political outcry).

Reading through the gray days of March

The college thing has been very exciting. It's been an amazing year. Of course part of the process is grueling. Last night I dreamt about walking on campus. Am I living vicariously through my daughter? Hmmm…. I've also been in touch with my Sophomore Year roommate, Barb, through Facebook!

Tom is currently reading The Gatekeepers, which I read just before passing it on to him. It's about a year in a highly selective college Admissions Office, primarily at Wesleyan. Tom summed it up best when he reflected that he's glad he didn't read it while we were deep in the admissions process. I don't know if it would be worse to read it while completing applications or while in the waiting game. Which reminds me, a group of assorted field hockey parents had dinner after a tournament last week, and one mother commented on the money spent on field hockey and whether it was worth it. AMM succinctly captured our shared perspective when she said, with hand gestures, field hockey moved my kid from a pile with this many (large stack) applications to a much smaller stack.

Yes, we've spent thousands. In this part of suburbia, almost every parent spends thousands on something. Tutoring, sports, music lessons, SAT Prep. A car. Private school. Or the worst option: some sort of troubled teens program. So, she's played two high school sports plus club field hockey. She's learned about winning and losing, making friends in new environments, trying new things and testing oneself. She admits that it is easier to get her work done with a packed schedule than when she has free time. (And, her lax coach just announced that 15 girls have 4.0 or higher GPAs!) So, we make choices, and deal with overpacked schedules, and we hope that when it's all done, they thrive and we survive!

Other reading: Adriana Trigiani's Brava Valentine. Her writing is masterful, and her characters are bright and lively! Ever since Lois told me about the Big Stone Gap trilogy, I've read every book she's written. In a period of less than 24 hours, I read Elizabeth Edwards' Resilience. Cover to cover start to finish. Well written, easy to read, but she still doesn't pass my test: She's not on my list of "someone I'd like to go to lunch with."

The Bride Will Keep Her Name was another fun read – three books in less than a week!—and one that made every minute on the treadmill fun. Lots of twists and turns in the countdown to the wedding. Set in NYC, of course. This book couldn't be set anywhere else. I thought the author was female until I saw his photo on the dust jacket. Jan Goldstein, has an uncanny view of the female mind!