Grammar that Grates

This just may be the first installment of a series of blogs on "grammar that grates".

Let's begin with "that vs. who".

Use "who" for people. You can even stretch it to your dog! Even pets or pests.

Use "that" for entities, objects, trees, cars, and other inanimate objects. The error seen most often is "that" employed where "who" should be used.

Think about it:

Jane is on the team that won the game.

John was employed by the insurance company that failed.

Lizzy is the player who scored the first goal.

A list of media failures will soon be cited. As the Washington Post is the most read each day in this house, it will likely provide abundant examples. This morning's Special K commercial on NBC (during the Today Show)..."Women that eat breakfast...." ACK!!!!

On the nightstand: The books have been dismal. I gave up on Fences and found my sleep disturbed as well by the vernacular in Their Eyes Were Watching God. I've moved on to yet another American-moves-to-Italy-and-buys-a-house book. Both Fences and Eyes presented an opportunity to discuss why these books are on the reading list for IB English. DD did a suitable job defending the broad need to understand the journies of others from their perspective. (Butm how many "dat's" do I need to read?) It is interesting to know that this book caused angst among other African American writers, and had slipped into obscurity before being ressurected by Alice Walker. It just seems they one can read either Fences or Eyes, but does it really take both books. Isn't there some other book that (not "who"!) they could read, learn a lesson based on history, and build a useful vocabulary?

In the books...

It's time to catch up on reading...

Just finished: An American Wife, by Curtis Sittenfeld, perhaps better known as the author of Prep. This fictionalization of a White House marriage is fascinating as it progresses through time from the first person perspective of the 17 year old teenager who travels and travails to become First Lady. At times the writing is uneven, but once I "did" two miles on the treadmill, I was hooked and raced through the rest of the book.

In early February, I re-read The Great Gatsby as it was part of DDs IB English curriculum. I last read it in the 70s! I was surprised at the details I hadn't remembered, and glad that I didn't have to read it for the same level of detail that DD must for class.

Her next assignment is August Wilson's play, Fences, and I'm struggling with that one. I have a difficult time reading black vernacular. It may be a fascinating play in production, but I can only read it a mile at a time on the treadmill!

I See You Everywhere by Julia Glass, better known for the Three Junes. A rather restless family, with sibiling rivalry, set in Rhode Island and ... All in all it was a pleasant read, if not a perfect novel.

On the nightstand: No Vulgar Hotel : the desire and pursuit of Venice by Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners) with Eric Denker. It's always nice to tour Venice, but I'd rather read a Commissario Brunetti mystery (by Donna Leon).

Citibank, what's the problem?

#1. There is a financial mess.
#2. Citibank is part of it.
#3. In January, Citibank enforced a subrogration clause, causing them to lose our HELOC. That's a big "duh". Ok, go ahead, take in those foreclosures, make alternate financing arrangements, oh, but I guess you didn't need the cash flow from a "current", high FICO score, customer who makes extra payments. Navy Federal was glad to get us. They've been very polite and courteous, and we "get to" speak with reps who speak English.
#4. February brought another lesson from Citibank: Call Citibank Credit Card customers, with a "fraud early warning notice." Confound customer by having her try to carry on a conversation with a rep for whom English is not the primary language. Tell the customer there's been a unusual activity on the account, that there's been a data breach, perhaps it was Heartland, then tell the customer the real problem was a merchant she's done business with. Make the customer happier, don't tell which merchant. Tell the customer she didn't return your call. Confuse the customer. Keep horrible notes. Say that you're going to send new cards. Then don't.
#5. Call the customer again. This time say that you're going to cancel the card. Tell her she didn't call you a week ago--although she did. (The customer even spoke with a supervisor). Each time you transfer the customer, ask her to repeat her "secret password" again. That inspires confidence. When you ask the customer to verify the mailing address so you can send new cards, do you think, that after 12 years of paying monthly bills sent to one consistent address that you have the correct address on file?
#6. To "verify unusual activity on the account" ask only about charges with "9". As in $9 -- 9 and change at the grocery store, 9-and-change at the grocery store a second time (different day), and $9-and-change at a fast food restaurant. Stunning. Don't ask anything about a series of teen-oriented stores at the mall. Don't ask about several hundred dollars in sports-related charges in various cities. Certainly don't ask about the piddly Starbucks charges or the really big car repair bill. Confuse the customer. Ask only about "nines."
#7 -- And this is your lucky number-- don't be surprised when the customer is fed up. Yes, the bill paying, on the money, on the date customer, can't handle the incompetency, and really doesn't want to spend a third suburban evening on the phone...having a cross-cultural experience about your inept data management, inconceivable customer service, and, whoa, look at that, $1.22 share price!