Sportsmanship in an "All About Me" World

I do a lot of work for free in this “all about me” world, including close to 200 hours per year to youth field hockey.  I continue to be shocked and amazed *but not awed* by adults who seem to feel that they are somehow….different, special, better…

The Setting: A  community-use sports complex in Northern Virginia, with two artificial turf fields surrounded by several grass fields. Sunday evening. 6PM.  Field is marked for field hockey with cones. Football goalposts hold the testosterone at the ends of the field.  Field use permits are in place for our program.

Activity: Controlled chaos. Four local youth programs with teams for 3^rd-6^th graders, primarily girls. Approximately 132 girls on one sports turf field, divided crosswise into four playing fields. Game play is signaled by horns; whistles are used on the field.  18 minute games start every 20 minutes.

The Scene: On any given night there are conflicts between parents who know better than the coaches, folks who bring their dogs despite the fact they are not allowed on the fields (hey, there’s a dog park 100 yards away at the other end of the park), and commonly adult male groups who try to get on the fields before their allotted time.

On this night, just prior to the initial game, in the midst of set up, a small group of men is asked to vacate the field, where they have been playing football. There’s something about the exchange that reminds me of the insolence of high school boys.

Game play ensues.

In the two minute break between Games 3 and 4, the football cluster is back on Field 4. Our field hockey teams are in position and the horn is blown to start Game 4.

The football group continues to kick field goals. Game play is held up due to their presence on the field.

As the commissioner, I walk across the damn field. All 5’1” of me in full, threatening body language, wearing my official sweatshirt.

Me: “You need to get off the field.”

Robust, bald headed guy, Caucasian male, no language issues: “We’re just getting in another kick.”

Me: “Get off the field…do you have a daughter in this program?”

Guy: “My girlfriend’s kid is here….who do you think you are?”

(Thinking: my name is on my official sweatshirt…)

I point to a soccer game on a nearby field: “If you wouldn’t be on that field right now, you shouldn’t be on this field!”

“Lady, you need to get a life!”

“I have a pretty full life. Get OFF the field!”

“Lady, there’s people dying of cancer….”

“If you’ve got cancer, I’m sorry for you, but get OFF THE FIELD!”

So he trounced back to the bleachers and sat in the middle of a cluster of women where he could be heard complaining about me.

But we’re not done. 

Game 5. Two males from the pregame football group, associates of the problem guy, are on Field 2 – DURING game play. They look like a dad and son, throwing and catching a ball, on the field, mid-play during a field hockey game! Again, wearing my official sweatshirt, imposing physical presence, and Commissioner-Mom body language, I walked onto the field and signaled them off.

How can there be 130+ kids on ONE field for a program, with adults/parents who think that they can also be on the field with their other children? I don’t think they’d do it at soccer games, but it’s OK at field hockey? Instead of teaching the kids courtesy and sportsmanship, is this how you teach kids to “get theirs” no matter the impact?

I’m pretty sure these football problem parents belong to the other clubs. If they belong to this one, they may have a permanent position  -- on the waiting list.